HOW OFTEN ARE YOU APOLOGISING?
This week, try and take note of how many times you say you’re sorry.
When you hear yourself saying it - ask, am I?
I have been looking deeply into linguistics of late, and how the language I choose to use, or avoid, can have such a profound impact on both my person and practice. I have begun actively trying to replace sorrys with thank-yous, and it is having such a positive impact on my conversations, relationships and and states of being.
Constantly saying “sorry” makes us feel like we are endlessly fucking up. It makes us feel like we are forever getting in the way, always falling two steps behind, when most often, we’re not. We’re doing a perfectly acceptable job of navigating our workload, relationships, commitments and day-to-day tasks.
Don’t get me wrong. Apologies have their place, and they can be sincere, but only as long as we actually have something to be sorry for. Also, lets keep in mind that the more we say it, the less it means.
My point here, is perhaps, that we can want to improve - do and be better - without constantly apologising for where we are at.
Where in your life can you become aware of your use of “sorry”, and try replacing it with “thank-you”..?
Instead of “sorry I’m so late” can you say “thank you so much for waiting.”
Instead of “sorry I can’t hear you” - “excuse me, would you mind speaking up? Thank you so much!”
Instead of “sorry to bring this up again” - “thank you so much for your patience and allowing me to speak openly.”
Instead of “sorry to ask you another favour” - “thank you so much for always being someone I can depend on.”
When we speak from a place of gratitude, of thanks - we are actively partaking in conversation that is aligned and empowering. Sorrys are not expansive. They are inherently retractive. They make you feel small. Thank-yous empower both you, and the person on the receiving end. You do not have to be sorry for existing. You can, however, be thankful for others patience, understanding and acceptance.
- Written by Lauren Trend